A little bit of a danger is A Good Thing
I've been out walking with the dog (Tess) on the moor. It's a precarious exercise. Some of the tracks are like ice rinks and I've been skidding all over the place. I have yet to fall over. Note the 'yet'.
Today I took my mobile phone - no-one knows I'm going out so no-one would expect me back, and it's 4 miles of pretty isolated walking. I very rarely come across another human being and the farms and homes are pretty widely distributed. So if I DID have an accident, it would be tricky getting help (if I couldn't move). So sensible to take the phone.
Yesterday I did the same walk but DIDN'T take the phone. I had too much to carry as was taking my camera and couldn't be bothered with it. Risky? Maybe. Maybe not.
What I noticed, in fact, is that yesterday - when I was acutely aware that I had to watch my step as I had no way of calling anyone if I fell - I walked with great presence, mindfulness, awareness. I paid attention. I literally watched my steps. I slipped a couple of times, but that just sharpened my resolve to take care, to be observant, to be in the moment.
Today (phone in pocket, feeling a bit more secure), I slipped many more times. It was interesting to 'observe'. I had much more of a gung-ho attitude and so my mind was wandering off to all sorts of things. I was certainly not taking the care I'd taken yesterday. A bit of an attitude of 'oh well, if anything happens I'll just call someone'. Which is not really taking responsibility and neither is it being with the present.
So the moral of this story? I have no idea. All I know is that sometimes I have to take a leap of faith, and when I have more riding on my decision, I seem to come much more alive to the moment. I'm no longer on auto-pilot with my sense of security numbing me to my own life. I kind of like that (not the 'security numbing my own life' bit).
Obviously it's all about balance - literally and metaphorically :-)
