Loneliness - grasping the nettle

I was asked by a potential guest if she might feel lonely coming on holiday on her own for a week.  My answer?  Well, being away from home with a group of people you don’t know and acres of lovely time and space in front of you to do as you please – well then, yes – it’s pretty much guaranteed at SOME point.

Not the marketing answer you might have expected but it was a considered response.

Firstly, I see nothing wrong with being lonely from time to time.  I see an awful lot wrong with avoiding being lonely by diving into drink, drugs, sex, food and the world of social media in an attempt to avoid something that is unavoidable.  Sometimes we do feel lonely, every single last one of us.  Regardless of how amazing our lives are, of how fabulous our friends and family are – sometimes we just feel LONELY. 

Secondly, we equate lonely with BAD.   Not all of us, granted, but the vast majority of us.  It's an easy mistake to make because it has a quality of 'foreverness' about it.  And THAT'S scary.  Lonely isn’t bad, it’s just a feeling and it will pass.  Guaranteed.  It might pass and be replaced with something a little more cheery and it might not – but it will pass.

One of the joys of being on holiday in a safe place with structure and people who are happy to chat about WHATEVER is going on for you is that you can stop running from the scary stuff that sends us headlong into our distractions.  You can give yourself permission to have  a look at some of this stuff head on and discover that actually, it’s just not that bad.  A tad uncomfortable – yes, a bit disorientating – probably, but it’s just not the end of the world.

I’m not going to start saying ‘Come to Serenity Retreat and Experience Loneliness’ – even I can see that’s not a winner, but neither am I going to deny something that is an inherent part of our human beingness.  Learning to lose your fear of it is a gift you give yourself – and THAT’S what Serenity Retreat is about.